The Surreal Life: Version InuYasha
by Bethany-Hime
Summary: Kagome brings InuYasha, Sango, and Miroku to America to be ona Beta Version of The Surreal Life. How will the gang react to cameras watching their every move in a strange land and all the Ramen you could eat?
1. The Beginning of the End

Ok, first off, my name is Bethany, and I'm the author of this FanFiction. I'm 15 as of March 1st, which, as I'm typing this, happens to be today. I had done the firs two chapters, but I just wasn't happy with it, so I am re-doing this whole thing from square one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and if you have any ideas for anything, please let me know in your comments!

I guess before I start I will need to include a few details. Since the InuYasha story started in 1997, that is the time when this fanfic is placed, before the actual Surreal Life began. This is like a beta-version, just the crew testing it out and seeing what things need to be improved upon before launching the actual television show with celebrities. Also, since Inu and the gang are from Japan, and the Surreal Mansion is in America, it's subtitled! Well it would be if it were an actual TV shop. Some things will be different from the actual show, so expect the unexpected!

Enough rambling, on with the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, The Surreal Life, or VH1. If I did, I would be rich, and chances are I would be doing this.

Chapter One – The Beginning of the End 

'Welcome to the Surreal Life, on VH1. On today's episode the new housemates get acquainted with their surroundings, get acquainted with each other, and a certain hanyou(half demon) gets acquainted with the carpet.'

A white stretch limo pulled up to the front steps of a gorgeous mansion and the driver walked around to the back door and opened it. The first person out was a teenage girl with long black hair and big brown eyes. She was wearing a blue knee-length skirt with a pink short sleeved shirt and white casual shoes. She reached behind her and pulled out a huge yellow backpack, which she struggled to carry.

Journal Cam-

"Well, my name is Kagome Higurashi, and I'm fifteen. I came here from Japan just for an adventure and a break from everyday stress."

End Journal Cam-

The next person to step out from the vehicle was young man wearing traditional purple and black robes. His hair was also black, but it was short and pulled into a pony tail, and his eyes were a deep shade of blue.

Journal Cam-

"I am the monk Miroku, will any young ladies out there do me the honor of bearing my children?"

End Journal Cam-

Another person appeared through the tinted windows of the limo, but as she was about to step out a blur of red swept her away to the others. She stumbled a bit and was caught by Miroku and blushed a bit as he looked into her chocolate eyes. Suddenly her look went from embarrassed to angry as she slapped Miroku in the face, leaving a large red handprint. "Lecher!" she screamed as she sighed in aggravation. "What was that for?" the blue eyed monk asked. "You idiot, go grope somebody else!" "Sorry, m'lady, but such beauty and perfection cannot be resisted." She blushed as she tried her best to hide it by burying her face in the palms of her hands, but Kagome smiled at her with a knowing look on her face.

Journal Cam-

((A/N: Just in case any of you get confused, you can only see what one person is saying at a time, so it's like… sitting next to someone who's on the phone. I hope that all made sense.))

"What do I do? … You mean just look at the little red light and talk? This place is so strange, Kagome. Now? Oh, okay, sorry. … Well, my name is Sango, and I am a demon slayer by trade. Kagome brought us all here so we can take a bit of a vacation and relax for awhile, though I don't see how anyone could relax in this place!"

End Journal Cam-

The red 'blur' that had swept Sango away was now standing a few feet away, easily slinging Kagome's heavy backpack over his shoulder. He had long silver hair and golden eyes, and he wore a traditional red outfit. "Feh," he said with a bit of smug look on his face, "you humans are so slow." Sango looked at him, slightly annoyed, but tried not to let it show too much. "You didn't have to pick me up ya know! I was fine on my own, thank you very much." Kagome smirked and added, "InuYasha, patience is a virtue ya know." "Feh, whatever. I ain't steppin foot in that white contraption again, that's for sure!"

Journal Cam-

"What is this thing? …What's a camera? …I ain't talking to that thing! –SIT!THUD- What the hell was that for? … Okay, okay, I'll do it! I'm InuYasha, I'm only here for Ramen. There, I'm done."

End Journal Cam-

'We'll be right back with The Surreal Life, only on VH1'

Commercial Break-

"Have you been injured in an accident? Our lawyers can help! We'll help you get the money you deserve, fast. Where it's an auto accident, construction site accident, or slips and falls in parking lots, we'll help you sue the pants off of some poor unsuspecting person, because we can! Call today! 'Note: Not all lawyers speak English and/or are human. Some lawyers may become irritable or viscious when provoked or during a full moon, thus you should never approach a lawyer you don't know.'"

End Commericals-

'You're watching the Cereal Wife, on VH1-

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STANDY BY.

after several seconds of a deafeningly high pitched beeping sound-

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION, WE NOW RETURN TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

"Okay, is everybody here?" Kagome asked. "Yeah, let's get movin already, I'm starving!" InuYasha ordered as they each walked through the door into the mansion. To the left was a hallway, and directly in front was a large living room with several couches and different types of chairs to sit on. Kagome led everybody down the hallway, which had a bathroom and two bedrooms, and then led to a flight of stairs. Upstairs there was another bathroom, a large hallway closet, and three more bedrooms.

"Alright, first thing's first, who wants to sleep where? There's the three bed rooms upstairs, and two downstairs, but two more people are supposed to be coming." Kagome explained. "I'd like to sleep wherever the ever-so-lovely Sango sleeps." Miroku suggested. Kagome slapped him in the side of the face, once again leaving a large red mark on his cheek. "Thanks, Kagome." Sango said. "Anytime. That was actually pretty fun!" "Why me?" Miroku asked as he rubbed his face. "Because you can't keep your perverted thoughts to yourself, ya stupid monk." The silver haired half demon replied.

"Guys! C'mon, let's get serious here for a minute!" Kagome bit out. "Look, InuYasha can have the first room after the stairs, Miroku can have one of the downstairs rooms, and Sango and I will share one of the upstairs rooms." Miroku frowned, "Aww, why do I have to be downstairs all by myself?" "Ain't it obvious? The girls need me to protect them from you and your lecherous ways, ya stupid monk." InuYasha said smugly. "Right, and Sango and I can share a room, which leaves two rooms for the other two people." "Oh yeah Kagome, do you know who else will be coming?" Sango inquired. "I haven't a clue really, but somebody said that we knew them or something."

**-Later-**

Everyone was sitting around the kitchen table eating when the doorknob started to jiggle.. InuYasha immediately slurped down his last bit of Ramen and jumped up to unsheathe the Tesusaiga, ready for battle. His silky soft ears ((Don't you wanna touch em!)) twitched as he heard mumbling coming from outside. "How does this thing work?" "Shut up and let me do this!" "Oh it's shiny!" "Idiot" "Push it!" "It won't go!" "Just break it down!" InuYasha took a step back as he sniffed the air and Kagome darted past him to save the door from a dismal fate. Just as she opened it a blur of browns flew past and hit the floor hard.

"Koga?" she asked, looking confuzzled. As the figure stood up, he flipped his long black ponytail and scanned his surroundings with his pure turquoise eyes. He had pointed ears, as if he was trying to imitate Dr. Spock ((sp?)) from Star Trek. "Kagome, it's been far too long." He said as he walked over to take Kagome's hand, but InuYasha jumped in front of Kagome protectively. "What are YOU doing here, fleabag?" "I've come to spend two weeks with MY Kagome, dogbreath, now move." Koga commanded. "Just try n' make me." "It'll be my pleasure."

"SIT!" Kagome screamed as the half demon came crashing to the ground. "Why? Why do I always get this?" he wondered under his breath as he peeled his face from the carpet.

Journal Cam-

"My name is Koga, leader of the wolf demon tribe and Kagome's mate. Will somebody puh-leeez get that trough mutt-face's thick skull? For cryin out loud, that guy's as dense as a rock! Kagome is mine, not hi- Don't tell me to shut up!"

End Journal Cam-

"Heh, how cute." came a sarcastic voice. Everyone turned toward the door, where a young woman standing. Her features were similar to Kagome's but she was taller. "Kikyo?" Sango asked, already knowing the answer. "There you are, took ya long enough!" Koga whined. "I got… distracted." "Oh, really? Must be the shiny doorknob!" "Who told you!"

Everybody did an anime-style fall with huge sweatdrops on their heads, and some couldn't help but giggle.

Journal Cam-

"Why should I talk to this modern technology? I'm sure it does not have the intelligence to respond to me. Oh lookit! There's a shiny red light! Can I touch it? It blinked! OMG! It did it again! Hello little light, my name is Kikyo, and I mean you no harm. Perhaps you and I can form an alliance and take control of Kagome and that lecherous monk.""

End Journal Cam-

**-Later-**

Everyone had eaten and settled into their bedrooms, and after 27 minutes of Janken ((aka Rock, Paper, Scissors)) Koga and Kikyo finally managed to choose who slept upstairs. Kikyo won and got to sleep upstairs in her own room, while Koga was stuck downstairs in the room across from Miroku's.

After four more 'SIT's and Kikyo being caught picking her nose twice, everyone decided to go to bed early. Except InuYasha of course, who couldn't help but creep through the hallways and listen to what everyone was doing. After being caught and earning another 'sit' the beaten and bruised hanyou returned to his room for the night.

'That's all for the Surreal Life, tune in next week!'

Note from the author:

That was a sucky ending, but whatever, I'm still more pleased with this than the old version. Please please please comment/review and tell me what you think! Even if you only say three words, it still lets me know that somebody actually liked it and I really appreciate that. Also, I would love ideas for crazy stunts they have to do and commercials! Thanx!


	2. The First Assignment

Author's Note: Well, I didn't get many reviews, but the ones I did get said it was good, so onward I march. Or rather, type.

To the reviewers:

Lymerai: Thank you so so so so much for your review! Without I dunno if I would've continued with this fic. You were a great encouragement to me.

On with the fic!

'Welcome back for another episode of The Surreal Life, only on VH1. On today's episode the housemates have receive the first of many assignments to come.'

InuYasha was the first to wake, who immediately went downstairs to make himself some Ramen for breakfast. He went into the kitchen and opened the cupboard on the far left, which happened to be stocked full with every different kind of Ramen. The hanyou's eyes went wide as he took in the glory of it all.

After what seemed like hours of intense deliberation, he finally chose a flavor and attempted to use the stove. Mrs. Higurashi had taught him how to do it once, but this stove was much different from theirs. ((See episode 89))

Several minutes later everyone came rushing into the now smoke-filled kitchen at the sound of the smoke alarm and found InuYasha passed out on the floor. Kagome quickly grabbed a kitchen towel and attempted to clear out the smoke out to turn off the alarm. Miroku and Sango carried InuYasha into the living room and laid him on the couch in the living as Koga tried to help out Kagome. The un-phased Kikyo leaned against a wall in the living room, occasionally chuckling at the insanity that was taking place.

Once most of the smoke was gone Kagome found that all four of the stove burners were turned on high, and the oven was set to broil. A huge casserole dish was on the back burner, filled with dry ramen and no water. Just as she was about to get an oven mitt and take out the dish, Koga offered to do it for her.

"I don't think that's a go-"

"I insist, anything for my Kagome."

"I'm not YOUR Kagome, and if you're not caref-"

"Holy –bleepbleepbleep- that –bleep- is –bleep- hot!" screamed the wolf demon as he ran frantically around the kitchen.

Koga's Journal Cam-

"No comment. Now shut the –bleep- up and get this –bleep- thing away from me!"

End Journal Cam-

Kagome rolled her eyes and sighed as she took Koga's hand and ran it under cold water to stop it from blistering.

Meanwhile -

Sango, Miroku, and Kikyo sat around the living room, watching, as InuYasha would occasionally twitch his fuzzy white ears. "So," the monk started, "looks like InuYasha's nose couldn't handle the strong smell, eh?" "Yeah, his nose is extremely sensitive, being a half demon and all." Sango replied as she eyed Kikyo suspiciously.

Miroku's gaze darted back and forth between Kikyo and Sango, and occasionally back at Kagome who was still tending to Koga's burn. "What are you looking at, monk?" Kikyo asked plainly. "You see, Lady Kikyo, I couldn't help admire such beauties." Sango rolled her eyes as Kikyo walked over to Miroku, pinning him against the wall with her face just inches from his. "Just remember," she whispered into his ear, "pretty flowers always have thorns."

Just as Miroku was about to get acquainted with the priestess' buns, Sango interrupted and pushed Kikyo away. "Get off of him!" she screamed as she stood in front of him protectively.

"You dare challenge me, foolish demon slayer?"

"Not now, but consider this a warning."

"Well, you really must love him."

"What! No!"

"Then why the who- Get your hands off of me, monk!" Kikyo commanded as she spun around and bitch-slapped him upside the head. ((A/N: Sorry I just had to say it!))

Kikyo's Journal Cam-

"That monk is such a perverted lecher. Everytime I'm near him he can't keep his hands to himself. Maybe I should just play along and make that demon slayer girl jealous."

End Journal Cam-

Miroku rubbed his face with one hand while waving the other in front of himself defensively. "It's the hand! It's cursed I tell you!"

"Suuuure." Both Kikyo and Sango said in unison.

"Shall we go help Kagome in the kitchen?" Sango asked.

"Anything to get away from the lecher." Kikyo replied as they walked away.

**-Later-**

After Kikyo and Sango explained everything to Kagome and Koga, Kagome shook her head and sighed. "This is gonna be a long day."

'We'll be right back with The Surreal Life, on VH1'

Commercial Break-

"Are you sick of evil younger siblings constantly tormenting and teasing you? Now there's a solution! It's the Electro-Laser 3000! Just charge it up while you sleep, and the in the morning you have a fully operation torture device. Simply set the switch to 'stun' 'zap' 'paralyze' or 'kill' and point it at the sibling of your choice. Press the trigger and presto! Your target will be unconscious for hours! Works great for Girl Scouts, dust bunnies, gophers, and more! Call Today!

But wait, there's more! Call within the next ten minutes and we'll throw the amazing Keychain Electro-Laser, for electrocution on the go! Watch as this teenaged drug dealer easily paralyzes a police officer in seconds! It's quick and easy! Don't miss out, order yours today!"

End Commercial Break-

'Welcome back! You're watching VH1'

**-Later-**

InuYasha woke up as Kagome prepared breakfast for everyone, and once they were finished eating she went out to get the Surreal Times. Moments later she came in and sat on the kitchen counter as she began to read. "Ok, let's see here. 'Today the Surreal Life housemates will compete in the first annual Surreal Life ice cream eating contest. Tables and chairs have been set up in the back yard, and around noon the ice cream and judges will arrive.'" Everyone looked extremely puzzled, each having something to ask.

"What's ice cream?" "What's a judge?" "When is noon?" "What the –bleep- is a chair?" "Oh shiny!" "Will there be ramen?" they all blurted out at the same time.

"Guys! Slow down! One at a time, alright?" Kagome ordered.

"Bossy bitch."

"InuYasha!"

"No, wait, don't do it. Please!"

"Sit boy!"

CRASH-

"Damn… that… hurt." The half demon whimpered as he peeled his face of the linoleum floor.

"Can we get on with it already?" Kikyo suggested.

**-Later-**

After Kagome answered everyone's questions they all bathed, fought over srubby brushes and soap, and ruined three towels. Then it was time for brushing and blow drying.

"Why Sango, you smell especially nice today." Miroku said as his hand wandered dangerously close toward Sango's posterior.

"Eh, thanks… HANDS OFF LECHER!"

SMACK-

"What? How can I keep my hands away from such a flawless figure?"

"Feh, stupid monk." InuYasha scoffed.

"Okay everyone, listen up! This is a hair dryer. It is not dangerous, it will not hurt you in any way, shape, or form. It is not shiny and it does not taste like chicken, beef, fish or shrimp. Do not try to take it away from me, submerge it in water, or chew on the cord. Got it? Good."

Kagome went straight to work, blow drying everyone's hair, except for Miroku, who's hair was too short and his mind too perverted. Then she pulled out a hairbrush, pick, and comb and went to work.

Kagome's Journal Cam-

"Sheesh, today I had to take care of everyone's hair, and give them a lecture on hair dryer safety rules. I don't think anyone really paid much attention though"

End Journal Cam-

"Yo, Kagome, where's the hair dryer?" InuYasha asked.

"Uh… on the coffee table." Kagome answered as she worked on Sango's hair.

"Okay."

"Hey… why do you want the hair dryer?"

"No reason."

"Okay, whatever," she replied, not paying much attention anymore.

A few minutes later InuYasha called out to Kagome from the kitchen.

"Kagome,. how do you turn this faucet thing on?

"Turn the handles on the back. Left is hot and right is cold."

"'Kay."

Then it hit her.

She dropped her hairbrush ad darted toward the kitchen.

"InuYasha, don't put the hair dryer in the wat-"

BZZZZZZAAAAAAPP!

The whole room lit up, like a firecracker as InuYasha turned into a human string of Christmas lights. Koga swiftly grabbed Kagome and carried her out of harm's way, and apparently the safest spot was an innocent chandelier hanging overhead.

"Let me down, Koga!" she screamed. Unfortunately for her, the chandelier was more than willing to grant her wish as it plummeted to floor. "InuYasha!" she screamed as they hit the floor, expecting her hero to come to the rescue.

The sound of glass shattering echoed through the house as Kagome and Koga lifted themselves out of the pile of rubbish that now lay on the floor. Koga, of course, was perfectly fine, though Kagome was sore and bruised.

"You idiot!" she screamed, "What on earth gave you the crazy of jumping up on the chandelier? This isn't a playground!"

Shock and remorse were apparent on Koga's face. "B-but I thought tha-" "You thought nothing Koga, now shut up and sit!"

Fortunately enough for the barely conscious InuYasha, he was already on the floor, so it didn't really affect him, though Kikyo got a giggle out of it.

"K-k-kagome…" the hanyou said in a barely audible tone.

Kagome darted to his side and rested his head on her lap as she brushed a few silver hairs from his face.

"InuYasha." She whispered, concern evident in her voice.

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kago-"

"Shut the hell up!" Koga shouted as he punched his fist into the counter.

"Make me!" InuYasha said as he summoned the strength to stand.

"Don't tempt me."

"Ooh I'm scared. Half-brained fleabag."

"Dumb ass half-breed."

"Retarded nose-picker!"

"InuYasha, you really shouldn't talk about Kikyo like that."

"You swore you wouldn't tell anyone about that!" Kikyo screamed at the top of her lungs.

Koga snickered as he walked away, feeling he'd done his part.

Miroku helped Kagome up, and then she tended to InuYasha injuries while he slipped back into a near unconscious state.. Sango worked on lunch after she was taught how to use the stove, while Kikyo wandered around pretending to do something useful.

"Kagome, what is this large, white contraption?" Kikyo asked.

"That's a refrigerator. It's for keeping food cold. Open it and look inside."

"How?"

"…Grab the handle and pull."

"Wow there's some sort of glowing crystal in here!"

"That's a light bulb."

"What's a light bulb?"

"It converts electricity into light."

"What's electricity?"

"Kikyo, PLEASE go find something to do."

"Why should I?"

"Because you're making it really hard for me to concentrate. You wouldn't want me to accidentally to chop of InuYasha's arm, now would you?"

"Of course not. What a foolish question to ask."

"Okay, NOW will you leave?"

"Can I just watch? I'll be real quiet."

"Promise?"

"Mm hmm. Promise."

"Fine."

'_My goodness, it took her long enough to shut up.'_ Kagome thought as she finished up. _'Note to self: Don't let Kikyo have any more coffee at breakfast.'_

Minutes later, InuYasha was asleep on the couch while Kagome set the table and Sango finished the meal. Kikyo knelt at the hanyou's side and ran her fingers across his forehead, brushing away the stray hairs. "InuYasha, you really should get up and try to eat. It'll help to regain your strength." She said softly, seeming to have recovered from her temporary insanity.

InuYasha mumbled something and moved a bit, but never actually woke up. "InuYasha." Kikyo repeated. He flinched slightly and pushed her hand away as he mumbled again, but a bit more clearly.

"Kagome" he said, making Kikyo less than pleased.

"Hush now, you're okay. It's me, Kikyo."

"K-kagome."

Kikyo huffed and left, and as she walked past the kitchen again she got an idea.

"Do you have any more of those noodle that InuYasha likes so much?" she asked.

"You mean ramen? Yeah, we have a whole cupboard full. Why?" Kagome replied.

"Well InuYasha won't wake up, and he should probably get something in his stomach. Maybe if we make some he'll smell it and wake up to eat."

"Sure I guess, it's worth a shot."

**-Minutes Later- **

Kagome and Kikyo walked out and held the bowl of ramen near InuYasha. His nose twitched as one eye peeked around and saw the ramen in all its glory. He carefully sat up, amber eyes shifting from side to the other, the quickly snatched the ramen and had it gone in under a minute. Kikyo and Kagome just stared, half in amazement and half in disgust. Before anyone had a chance to say anything, Sango announced that lunch was ready.

After lunch was finished and the dishes were put away, the doorbell rung.

"Sango, get down!" Miroku screamed as he jumped to the floor as if there were a bomb or something, pulling Sango with him.

"Miroku, calm down, it's just the doorbell." Kagome said as she rolled her eyes and headed for the door.

She opened the door, took a step back, pinched herself, shook her head, and then screamed. "OMG OMG Look who it is!"

"Um… who is it?" Sango asked."

"Who is it? Who is it? I tell ya who it is!" Kagome said as tears of joys filled her eyes.

'We'll be right back with the Surreal Life, on VH1.'

Commercial Break-

"It's a proven fact that kids who talk to their parents after school are less likely to smoke or do drugs. If those kids had any common sense at all, they would know that not only is smoking the leading cause of lung cancer, but CRACK KILLS! If they didn't know, they do now, because we just told them. We're here to talk about something much more serious then smoking, drugs, even unprotected sex.

We're here today to tell you, the parent, that by talking to your children for 15 minutes a day, you'll reduce the chances of them becoming a douche-bag by ten percent. That's right. So please, don't let your child become a douche-bag. Show them you care."

"Paid for by the National Association Against Douche-Bags (NAADB) and Douchers Anonymous."

End Commercial Break-

Author's Note: Ha! Thought that it'd come back after the commercial, eh? Well you were wrong so hardee har har. Guess you'll just have to find out who it is next time!

Sorry I didn't put in a lot of Journal Cams, I forgot about it until after I finished writing it all, so I just kinda stuck a few in. Next time I'll try to get in at least one for each character.


	3. Boy Bands and Utensils

Author's Note: Well, I'm back again, so yay for me! Not a lot to say, except thank you to Lymerai for the great review! That was like the longest review ever, LoL. So thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you!

Also, sorry it took so long to update! I got busy and had computer problems and stuff, no fun. :'(

Oh and one last thing, I'm sick of having to type out "journal cam" every time, so from now on it'll just be JC. Like, "Kagome's JC". Just thought I'd clear that up before anyone got confused and sent me angry letters.

Well… guess that's it for now.

**0000000000 **

**Recap:** InuYasha practically burnt down the kitchen, and then he electrocuted himself with a hair dryer. The daily assignment was an ice cream eating contest, and Kagome starting flipping out once she saw who the judges were.

**0000000000**

'Welcome back to the Surreal Life, only on VH1.'

Kagome opened the door, took a step back, pinched herself, shook her head, and then screamed. "OMG OMG Look who it is!"

"Um… who is it?" Sango asked."

"Who is it? Who is it? I tell ya who it is!" Kagome said as tears of joys filled her eyes. "They're the Backstreet Boys!"

"Huh?"

"The Backstreet Boys!"

"Who are the Bad Feet Toys?"

"Ugh, never mind, Sango."

Kagome's JC–

"Wow, I still can't believe it! The BackStreet Boys! I mean how cool is that! I love the BackStreet Boys almost as much as I love InuYasha's fuzzy ears! … Did I just say that out loud? Oh crap."

End JC-

Four of the five pop stars looked at each other confusedly, while AJ just smiled and said "Kon nichiwa."

"Kon nichiwa!" Kagome said back cheerfully.

"What is he saying?" Nick asked.

"No clue." replied Brian.

00000

Author's Note: Now I hope this doesn't thoroughly confuse you, but you see InuYasha and the gang all speak Japanese, but the Backstreet Boys speak English. In this fic, I've made it so AJ speaks both English and Japanese, acting as a translator at times. So, from now on all words spoken in English will be underlined. If this was an actual TV show, everything Japanese would be subtitled, and that would just be plain annoying.

Also, remember that this is 1997, and around then BSB had toured all of Europe and Asia, and were well on their way to becoming huge in America too, so I bet Kagome had at least heard of them. Yes, I was a fan, and I bet you were too. Don't try to deny it. XP

00000

"So anyway, it's nice to meet you guys. I'm AJ, and these guys are Kevin, Nick, Brian, and Howie."

"Those are the strangest names I've ever heard." Miroku said as he looked over their unusual clothing.

"Most people in this era are weird, but these guys are total freaks!" InuYasha commented rudely.

"InuYasha! You do NOT talk about the BackStreet boys like that! Sit Boy!"

THUD

"Oh, hello carpet. Will you be my friend?"

InuYasha's JC-

"Man, that wench sits me for the stupidest things! I mean, I was so right! Those guys are total freaks!"

End JC-

"Did I miss something?" asked Nick.

"Dude, you miss everything." replied Kevin.

"So, guess we got some ice cream to eat!" Kagome said excitedly.

"Yeah, lets go out back, some guys are setting everything up." AJ said as he headed back out the door and past the other four BackStreet Boys.

"C'mon you guys!" AJ called

"Um… no we're good. We'll just watch from a safe distance." Brian called back.

"Yeah, that chick is freaky! She got mad at that old dude and he hit the ground!" Howie said, nodding in agreement.

"Um… what's your name again? InuYasha? Howie just called you old… how old are you anyway?" AJ asked.

"I am not old! I'm…. um…" InuYasha said as he tried to count on his fingers.

"Like… 67 or so… if you count the time he was pinned to the tree." Kagome answered.

"He's 67!" AJ announced.

"Told ya he was old!" Howie said as he hid behind Nick.

"Dude, Howie's right, you are old." AJ said to the hanyou.

"Am not! I'm still a teenager! Idiot."

"And he acts like he's five." said Miroku sarcastically.

"Shut up, ya stupid monk."

"Would you stop calling me that?"

"Make me."

"Please, InuYasha."

"Pssh, yeah right."

"InuYasha, he asked politely." Kagome said in a motherly tone.

"So?"

"So the least you could do is be polite in return. Besides, you shouldn't act so immaturely, we have guests."

"You mean those dumbasses over there?"

"Sit boy!" THUD "They are the pop gods of the world! Don't talk about them like that!"

"She did it again!" Kevin shrieked in a girly voice.

"That's it! We are getting the hell out of here!" Nick said as he ran for their limousine.

"Wait for me!" called Brian, Kevin, and Howie as they darted away.

'We'll be right back with the Surreal Life after a word from our sponsors.'

00-Commercial Break-00

A teenage girl with black hair and silver eyes steps up on a pedestal in front of hundreds of people. After checking her microphone she clears her throat and begins.

"Hello, my name is Lymerai, and I'm here today to bring you all an important message:

Go watch the Surreal Life, you stupid bastards! Why are you out here, when you COULD be sitting at home watching the Surreal Life on your couch? You NEED to watch it, it's pure genius! It will make you laugh, and not just any regular old chuckle, you'll laugh like a frog eating a flea! Yes, it's that good! Go, go watch it now, I command you!

Thank you, have a nice day."

00-End Commercial Break-00

'Welcome back to the Surreal Life, on VH1.'

"That's it! We are getting the hell out of here!" Nick said as he ran for their limousine.

"Wait for me!" called Brian, Kevin, and Howie as they darted away.

"What's their problem?" asked Sango.

"Not a clue." Kikyo answered.

Sango's JC-

"Okay, so Kagome starts flipping out about something, and then we find out it's just five oddly dressed foreign guys. I honestly don't see what the big deal is."

End JC-

"Um…okay." AJ said confusedly as he turned and continued to the back yard.

When they arrived at their destination, several men were setting up tables, chairs, and ice coolers. There were six seats at one table, each marked with a name, and across from it was another table with five seats, though AJ was the only person sitting there.

Koga sat on the far left, and then Sango was next to him, then Kikyo, Miroku, Kagome and InuYasha, in that order. Everyone, but Kagome, picked up their spoons and carefully inspected and/or sniffed it before Kagome sighed and tried explaining it to everyone.

Minutes Later-

"So, you stick it in like this, and then pull it out and stuff is on it?" Koga asked as he practiced using his new and ultra-cool spoon.

"No, no, other end!" Kagome said as she tried to demonstrate again. "You put the round end it, then you kinda bend it like this, see?"

"Like this!" InuYasha said proudly as he held up his spoon, which was now twisted in the shape of a pretzel.

"Argh! No no no!"

"Oh I see, you put it in, move it around a lot, and when you pull it out it has creamy stuff all over it." Miroku said with a lecherous smile.

"Well kinda, but it's more li- Hey! Lecher!"

"What? I don't get it." Sango asked innocently.

"See, what the monk is referring to is how when you're fu-" Koga started to explain, but was quickly cut off by Kagome.

"Hey! Watch your mouth, you pervert! Besides I don't think anybody here wants to listen to that!"

"I do! What was he gonna say?" Kikyo asked with a totally clueless expression.

"He was gonna say –bleep-." InuYasha said plainly.

"I bet that's gonna get bleeped when they show this on TV." AJ said to himself as he watched the insanity unfold.

"InuYasha…" Kagome said, looking pretty irritated.

"No! Wait! Don't d-"

"Sit boy!"

CRASH

"Ow, what'd ya have to do that for? She was the one who asked!" InuYasha said as he got up and pointed to Kikyo.

"And you were the one who knew better!"

"So? There's no law that says 'Thou shalt not answer questions.'"

"Are you arguing with me?"

"Yeah, what it's lo- um…I-I mean no!"

"InuYasha, …sit!"

THUD

"This is all your fault, ya stupid perverted monk!" InuYasha said as he stood up and pointed at Miroku.

"Look, what's done is done, there's no need arguing about it." Miroku said, not wanting to get clobbered.

"I hate to say it, but I agree with Miroku." Sango said, hoping they could get on with the competition.

"Right. Back to the matter at hand! If you're going to eat ice cream, you guys are gonna hafta to learn how to use a spoon." Kagome stated.

**-An hour later-**

"This is NOT working you guys." An exasperated Kagome said as she rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Kikyo and Miroku are the only two who have gotten it right so far, and we can't keep wasting time like this."

"Ok, how about this, we screw the ice cream and eat ramen instead!" InuYasha suggested.

"Screwing ice cream? Might be fun." The monk said, grinning lecherously.

"You know what I meant, ya stupid monk!"

"Would you stop calling me that?"

"Pfft, yeah right."

"Kagome? The word, if you don't mind."

"My pleasure. Sit."

BAM

"Ow… Oh hell, I give up."

"Hey, I have an idea. We'll let the ice cream partially melt, then sip it through those straw thingies" Sango said while little gay light bulbs popped above her head, courtesy of the VH1 special effects crew.

"Sango, you're a genius!" Kagome said as she ran and gave her friend a hug. "I'll be right back, lemme get some straws."

**00-Five Minutes Later-00**

About seventy bowls of partially mushy ice cream lay across the table, each one ready to be devoured at any given moment. AJ took his spot at the judges' table with a sheet of paper in his hand, ready to read off the list of the rules.

"Ok, here's how it works: There will be two winners, one for speed, and one for endurance. The winner in speed is the first person to finish six bowls of ice cream. The winner of endurance will be whoever eats the most bowls total over the next forty-five minutes. Any questions?"

"Can I get some of those anchovie things to put on my ice cream?" Koga asked.

"Umm… that's a pizza topping, dude."

"What's pizza?"

"Never mind, just forget it. You may begin… now!"

**0000000000**

Hee hee I'm horrible. D Sorry if this seemed kinda short, I felt bad keeping y'all waitin.


End file.
